


The worst part about rent (is it never stays paid)

by dandeliononfire



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Backspace Challenge, Blood for rent, F/F, Hollstein - Freeform, Humor, Landlord Carmilla, One Shot, Tenant Laura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandeliononfire/pseuds/dandeliononfire
Summary: Poor little Laura Hollis is short on rent money. Whatever will her annoying landlord, Carmilla, propose as a compromise?One-Shot written for a Backspace Challenge based on the prompt: "Your landlord is a vampire, so they offer you a deal: You can pay your rent in money... or in blood."Word count cap was 2000 word, so I might be a little in trouble. Shhh, don't tell anyone.  Also, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO WRITE WITHOUT BACKSPACING OR DELETING/CHANGING THINGS AFTER-THE-FACT??? It's maddening, lol.
Relationships: Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein
Comments: 4
Kudos: 86





	The worst part about rent (is it never stays paid)

Laura stared glumly down into her nearly empty mug of cocoa. 

_Time to face reality._

Three minutes later, she was downstairs standing in front of her landlord - _landlady?_ \- Carmilla’s door, knocking timidly.

No one came, though there was a loud, put-upon grumbling coming from the inside, so Laura waited a minute and then knocked again with more intensity. She really should be coming to her landlord with more humility, and that _had_ been her attitude seconds before, but the smug, superior, condescending, narcissistic, uncaring, nihilistic, little undead attitude that was her landlord’s entire persona had been difficult for her to handle since day one.

“Hey! I know you’re in there!” Laura pounded harder on the door. “I can hear you! And I need to talk to you!”

Abruptly, the door swung open, so startling Laura as she was leaning into her next round of knocking that she tipped forward and just barely caught herself from falling forward into the vision in front of her.

Woman. _Not_ vision. _Cool it, Hollis._ Just a woman. Absolutely _not_ a _very_ attractive but still very annoying and slightly creepy-but in a sexy, flirtatious way landlord. Like, who calls people nicknames like ‘Creampuff’ in _that_ voice anyway?

Also, a really snooty, broody landlord who always seemed to enjoy annoying Laura every chance she could when sneaking up on her in the foyer, or teasing her on the days the rent was due. And then there was last week when Laura’s power went out in the kitchen and what Laura was _certain_ should have only taken a minute to reset the breaker had resulted in the woman rummaging around in her apartment under the incredible story that she absolutely _had_ to reset all the individual outlets before resetting the main box downstairs. She was pretty sure the woman had invaded her refrigerator and drank straight from the orange juice carton when Laura had left her for two minutes to use the bathroom.

“What?” The landlord was clearly intentionally affecting a bored look, over dramatic with how she brushed her nails on her shirt then pretended to examine them.

“Uh,” Laura’s mouth opened and closed but, predictably, she was immediately as tongue-tied as ever in front of the woman, half-awkward lesbian and half-irritated tenant.

Carmilla raised an eyebrow, smirked, then smirked wider, giving Laura a once over. 

“Nice shirt, Creampuff.”

Laura looked down at her button-up covered with tiny little cats. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the _most_ dignified shirt. A little cheesy. But who was black-emo-woman-all-decked-out-in-black-pants-and-a-ripped-black-t-shirt-hanging-off-one-shoulder-with-black-eyeliner… really really nicely applied eyeliner… to judge?

_Shake it off, Hollis._

Laura cleared her throat, and blushed when she realized Carmilla clearly knew the effect she was having. 

“Look, uh, I know I asked to pay the rent late last month.” She shot a finger in the air, as if just remembering herself and feeling justified in it, “But I did pay it!”

The woman’s face contorted a little in concerned confusion. “Are you accusing me of something?” She took a step forward, coming fully up to the threshold, and even though she only had an inch or two on Laura, Laura couldn’t help but feel intimated, though, also a little bit turned on by how close she was standing. Which also meant ‘Disaster Gay’ Laura got flustered.

“Uh, no! No! Of course not! You’re, uh, no! I just uh… Thanks for fixing my electric the other day and also, uh, I-”

“Spit it out.”

“ _Ican’tmakerentthismonth_!”

It took a second, but then the tension in Carmilla’s face eased, and her brow quirked again. This time she crossed her arms and stared Laura down as she waited for Laura to continue.

“But, uh, look I’ve got two-thirds of it. I can write a check right now. And I’m going to get a loan from my dad, even though I really hate to do that because he had to help me out six months ago. It’s just that it’s really hard to get anything other than an entry level position the first few years out of journalism school. But I mean that’s my life choice I know. But sorry, anyway, I what I mean is I can pay! _I can pay_! I didn’t mean I couldn’t! I just meant I could only pay part now but I can totally, totally pay-”

“Breathe. I don’t need someone passing out in the hall.”

Laura stopped obediently and took in a huge gasp of breath.

She faced Carmilla in her embarrassment for several long moments before managing with an apologetic grimace, “Will that be okay?”

Carmilla didn’t immediately respond, but narrowed her eyes. Finally, she spoke, “What’s your blood type?”

“Uh… What?”

“Blood type, cutie.”

“O neg.”

“Hmm. Smelled like it.”

“I-” Laura straightened, suddenly not as much embarrassed as a little thrown. And maybe disturbed. “Excuse me?”

“Tell you what.” Carmilla’s energy relaxed and she leaned against the doorframe, “What if I offered a compromise?”

“A compromise?”

“Free rent this month.”

Laura blinked. “I’m sorry, _what_?”

“Free rent, but I get something in return.”

“Look, I don’t know what kind of-”

The woman flashed a wicked set of canines, briefly, before returning to her previous half-bored, half-smirking expression, and Laura went silent.

“You do a little donation; I waive this month’s rent.”

First a wave of fear incapacitated Laura, but then the other woman _remained_ looking half-bored, and half-smirking and Laura’s adrenaline slowed a little.

“Vampire,” she said, eyes dropping and she studied her feet. She suddenly felt stupid for not having thought of it before. Radio blaring at night. Always grumpy when getting disturbed during the day. _Never eating the garlic breadsticks anytime there was a building wide-potluck._

That air of mystery. 

“Of course. Just my luck. My first apartment after college and my landlord is a vampire. My dad would so tell me ‘I told you so’ right now for moving to someplace as weord as Styria.”

Carmilla just shrugged. “Consider it part of the Eastern European experience, sweetheart. So what do you say? Young girl like you,” at this, Carmilla pushed off the doorjamb with her shoulder, and prowling closer into Laura, forced Laura to take a step backward, and then another, just to keep breathing space between them. Her words were smoky silk, “trying to get ahead. A chance to pocket that money for savings, or to buy a year’s supply of those cookies you keep stocked in your cupboards…”

“Hey! Who gave you the right to look through my cupboards while you were in my kitchen!”

The vampire was undeterred, flexing with a seductive charm that, okay, Laura really wasn’t immune to and maybe didn’t want to be if those dark eyes were going to keep looking at her like _that_.

“I’m waiting.”

Wait she did.

Until Laura had done a hundred feats of mental gymnastics within herself, battling down her common sense. Until it occurred to Laura she’d been at her mercy any number of times and so if she hadn’t done anything to her yet…

She gulped.

“Okay.”

“Really?” Laura thought the answer had genuinely surprised the woman, based on a widening of her eyes, but she’d recovered with that bland look too fast for Laura to be sure. “Alright then. Deal is, you donate a pint of blood, you get this month rent free. Agreed?”

Laura took a deep breath, then steeled herself.

“Agreed.”

Laura braced herself, eyes closed, fists clenched at her sides. Neck tipped to the right. Heart pounding.

Stomach fluttering.

She was pretty sure she should not be feeling… _that_... at the same time she was feeling the very justifiable, responsible fear response to having volunteered herself to a vampire as a blood bag. Especially when she didn’t know- not for sure- if Carmilla was actually _safe_.

Safe?

What was Laura thinking? OF COURSE, VAMPIRES WEREN’T SAFE!

Thoughts vacillating between, “ _oh-my-god-my-dads-gonna-kill-me-if-I-die-paying-my-rent-in-blood_ ,” and “ _what-the-hell-are-you-thinking-Laura-Hollis-this-is-how-coeds-go-missing-in-cheesey-horror-movies_ ,” and, still disturbingly and the one she resented the most, “ _man-she’s-hot-why-does-she-have-to-be-so-hot-are-those-pants-REAL-leather_?” raced through her adrenaline-addled mind on rapid loop.

“Relax, cutie,” the landlord purred, suddenly _very_ close and oh God was that her hand on Laura’s waist?

Laura squeezed her eyes tighter and found herself actually anticipating what was about to happen with what she was sure was a completely irresponsible and unmerited sense of excitement. After all, her landlord was insanely attractive, and Laura was just… Laura. And surely someone _that_ beautiful wouldn’t be-

Carmilla’s breath ghosted over Laura’s neck and the part of her clavicle that was exposed, making Laura shiver. 

“Like this position, do you?” she teased and Laura hated herself for the little whimper she couldn’t keep back.

Carmilla’s fingers dug into Laura’s hip, nails slightly digging in through the thin fabric of her shirt, making Laura feel even more things she didn’t want to be feeling. Because who actually wants to get bitten by a vampire? And donate their blood like that? She’d probably have to supply her own Band-Aids even, since vampires didn’t exactly have a reputation for being considerate with after care and anyway, every time she’d given blood for blood-drives they’d given her a cookie and Carmilla didn’t seem like the sort of courteous thoughtful vampire to reward her victims with cookies, or even a ‘I donated blood today’ sticker or-

HAD HER NOSE JUST BRUSHED AGAINST LAURA’S NECK?

Laura was going to die of mortification. Or yearning. One of the two anyway, she was pretty sure, and her legs were a little weak and seemed determined to want to give way at an angle that would force Laura to lean into the vampire for support.

“So eager,” Carmilla chuckled, voice low and raspy and breath again combing over her skin. “Bet you didn’t think you were the kind to like this did you, Cupcake?”  
Another low, entirely too sexy to be fair chuckle, and then it was there. The slight pressure of a sharp point at the base of her neck, pushing harder, but slowly, so slowly. Achingly slow. Laura’s mouth fell open and she decided she didn’t care, as long as it didn’t kill her, maybe it was worth it. She hadn’t been this-

“Ow!”

The sharp point dug in, hesitated, then dragged down her skin until it pulled away, leaving her feeling like she’d just been scratched by a big cat rather than bitten.

And then there was unrestrained laughter, and Laura realized Carmilla had taken a step back and seemed so amused that it bordered on genuine mirth. She was holding a fancy business card of some type up in one hand, waving it at Laura while wrapping her other arm around herself as though she was some smug feline playing with a bird it knows is too stunned to fly away from its teasing. 

Laura’s hand went to her neck to check for blood, but came up clean even as she realized Carmilla hadn’t bitten her, she’d just teased her by poking her with the corner of the card.

Embarrassed and frankly a little offended, Laura started to fire off a rant, but Carmilla just flipped the card between her fingers and held it out to her with a smug grin.

“Sorry to rain on your parade, 307, but a girl’s gotta at least buy me dinner before I’m willing to pull out the fangs for her. Just make an appointment for them to draw your blood by the end of the week, and we’re square for the month.”

Laura took and examined the card. It was for a blood bank. Belmonde Holdings was the company name. She looked back up at Carmilla, confused a little in her surprise, but also, she hated to admit it, a little disappointed. She once again opened her mouth to say something, face red with embarrassment, but Carmilla was already starting to close the door.

“But-”

Carmilla winked. “Sorry to disappoint whatever little Gothic erotic picture you have dancing around in that cute head of yours, but hunting down victims every night gets old after a few hundred years. We vampires like to keep blood on tap nowadays.” She purred, “But don’t worry Cupcake, I’m usually free on Tuesdays if you decide you want to buy me that dinner. Or…” She raked her eyes down Laura’s body then up again, bouncing her eyebrows twice, “ _be_ my dinner.”

The door shut even as Laura’s mouth was working like a fish’s out of water to utter some response that could be convincing as a denial.

A full fifteen seconds later, her brain finally registered she was too late, and that she was standing alone in the hallway and wouldn’t be able to defend herself without sinking to the embarrassing level of knocking again.

“Stupid dumb attractive vampires,” she muttered to no one but herself. 

But then, “Vampiric hearing, Cupcake!” muffled through the door, came ringing from somewhere deep in the apartment, making Laura flush even redder. “Tuesday, Chinese, your treat!”

_Stupid vampires._


End file.
